


A Thing Heroically Lost

by QuiksilverGirl



Category: Magical Diary
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-01 13:21:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15774930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuiksilverGirl/pseuds/QuiksilverGirl
Summary: This year is turning out rougher than she anticipated, as Ada Lovelace (MC) finds she has much more to learn about the magical world than can be gleaned within the wall of Iris Academy... though passing her exams would likely be a good start. Renamed from "Can't You Just Spank Me?"





	1. "Can't You Just Spank Me?"

**Author's Note:**

> Starting out as a naughty revised Grabiner/MC scene ("Can't You Just Spank Me?"), this story has taken on a life of it's own, continually needling me to become far more than what it once was... the first chapter will likely need rewritten down the road, but it's a decent starting point for now!
> 
> Sooooo… fail the Oct 25th exam by doing something exceedingly dumb, like trying to jump over the abyss with no strengthening magic, gets you demerits, a detention… and some rather interesting dialog options with a certain brooding Brit. While several of the in game paths this conversation can take are questionably appropriate, I couldn't help but blend two of the them… taking it just a little too far, and then filling in the plot holes to try to justify it… While this chapter could just be rated T/M for mild swearing and sexual tension, I'll likely be increasing the story rating to E… because I think we all know where this is going ^_^

Blue-tipped fingers wove a path through her auburn tresses for the tenth time since she came to this room, the nervous habit born of both her trepidation as well as her mounting frustration. Thinking back… yes, it was dumb. She knew that when she did it. Jumping into a seemingly endless void was an admittedly childish way to give up after wasting too many magic points investigating her surroundings. Her forehead met the table in the detention room with a satisfying thunk.

Really though, nothing about this year had been very fair. From the first day on campus, where simply colliding with a grumpy professor earned her 10 demerits, to be given the choice of demerits or detention for not properly balancing your supposedly flexible class schedule, to these stupid exams that they give you no practical information on. Hadn't she been handling the culture shock rather well compared to some of the other wildseeds? Apparently not.

Not to mention getting possibly the worst senior for freshman initiation. Stupidly naïve, she didn't want to judge him unfairly based on his looks or the rumors flying around, but Damien would have to think her a total moron to believe his stolen love letter ruse. Wasn't it bad enough to be bossed around by all the seniors? Did they really have to add emotional warfare as means of assaulting incoming students? Her body seemed to melt even deeper into the dark mahogany table she sat at, her arms and chest joining her face against its cool surface.

The lacquered wood pressing up to meet her only marginally helped the rush of heat tinting her skin at the memory of a certain indignant, icy voice reciting her words aloud to the class. While she certainly didn't realize it at the time, the deep accented timber was exactly the kind of voice she pictured in her mind while composing the letter. So having to hear it read aloud by such a voice twisted with icy derision, only seemed to sink the blade of betrayal deeper into her back.

Well, it could have been worse… at least he knew it wasn't real from the start. I mean, having to explain to your tall, dark, and handsome professor with the sinfully delicious voice…. Woah! Where did that come from? Green eyes widening in surprise at her own admission, memories of exactly why she refused to look at him in favorable light floated thought her mind. Teeth unconsciously worried her lip as she grudgingly admitted that were it not for a few fatal flaws, her teacher might be quite the catch. But really, who doesn't love his harsh glares, merciless teaching style, petty punishments, and complete lack of humor?

A low groan left her parted lips as she turned her head to the side, her flushed cheek now smushed against the glossy surface as she faced the exit he and Donald used only minutes before. _Nope. Not thinking about this anymore._

Clearly the universe had other plans… the man in question wearily stalked back through the door, and without so much as a glance in her direction, proceeded to drop into a nearby chair at the table, slender hands rising to slowly massaging his temples. Now was probably her best chance to objectively assess him. A task made easier by the absence of his characteristic scowl & bellowing.

Without moving from her graceless sprawl, her eyes roamed what she could see of his form. In addition to the immediately obvious traits such as his long, thick hair framing distinguished angular features currently being massaged with deft precision by long, thin fingers… she observed some of the other more subtle elements. While his dark robes usually hung loosely from his broad shoulders, illustrating his slim physique, the billowy sleeves had fallen back to reveal the smooth pale skin of lean, though surprisingly toned, forearms flexing with his ministrations. Her eyes shifted to his wavy black hair, and an odd thought struck her. _No grey… none. And he hardly seems the type to bother coloring it._

This prompted her to re-examine his face, noting that each time the tension melted from his countenance, the familiar scowl lines would fade dramatically. _Huh… he's younger than he lets on. Before I would have sworn he was well into his thirties, but now… he just looks tired._

Unable to help the concern lacing her voice, Ada pulled herself upright, " Sir?"

The only indication of his surprise was a slight tensing of his form before he dropped his hands and fixed her with a bored stare, " Oh. You."

_Wow. Way to go from appealing to crotchety in no time flat. This. This is exactly why no one would bother to look twice at him._

Without another word, he rose fluidly from the table and approached one of the bookshelves lining the walls. After a few moments of perusal, he selected a thin, faded gold book and tossed it onto the table. The resounding slap as it made contact was an obvious attempt at intimidation. Instead of taking the bait, she kept her focus trained on his glare, the minor lift of her brow the only outward response to his provocation.

His brown eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he registered her outward calm. "Read that. Write a summary report."

Following his shifted focus over to the book lying innocuously beside her on the table, she felt the insult as soon as she absorbed the title, " Is this a children's book?"

He didn't even try to hide the smirk from his voice, "Behave like a child, and you'll be educated like one. This is how wizard children are taught to avoid becoming suicidally stupid. Get started."

_Oh, so he does have a sense of humor… a really shitty one._

Just barely suppressing the urge to return a pithy remark of her own, she sank down to the table, resigned to her fate.

Reseating himself just across the table, and splitting his focus between the magic tome before him and the ever deepening look of abhorrence on his pupil's face, the corners of his mouth twitched slightly upward… the amusement shining behind his eyes building along with the anticipation of which page would set her off.

The story of Little Willie and his foolish friends, though originally written to be a cautionary tale meant to dissuade ill-conceived and unsafe magical practices, had become somewhat of a morbid joke throughout the magical community due to the horribly graphic nature of each child's demise, as well as the apparent disinterest of any adult figure in the book. While certainly getting the point across, it had not been used by educators for the better part of a century in favor subtler, less traumatizing teaching aids. However, even with its replacement in magical schools, one would be hard pressed to find a witch or wizard unfamiliar with some version of the tale.

You know, except for wildseeds of course…

Each page was worse than the last, and before she could even finish the disturbing book, her horror and disbelief had her closing it in disgust. _British kids actually read this?!?!_

Snapping her head up to confront her teacher, her horror faded to disbelief. Though he tried to quickly look away and relax his face, she had registered the laughter in his eyes and the ghost of a smile. _He's mocking me. The Great and Terrible Professor Grabiner is actually teasing me. Fine… two can play at that game._

Shifting forward in the chair to rest her chin lightly on her palm and affecting a demeanor of playful confidence, she was entirely unable to stop herself from leaping across another abyss, "Can't you just spank me?"

There it is again… In the few unguarded moments where his characteristic scowl failed to appear, in this instance replaced briefly by pure shock, she was able to once again see his youth shining through. But even being momentarily thrown off his game, too soon his controlled features fell into place leaving a disinterested visage.

Though for as expressionless as he kept his face, he did poorly to mask the emotions churning in his eyes. Only the slightest shift of his focus belied his unchecked assessment of her figure. Quickly snapping his gaze back to her quirking lips & lifted brows, he cleared his now dry throat.

"You want me to spank you." 

He kept his tone admirably even, but seemed unable to completely hide the heated undercurrent of implication in his words… nor was she able to remain unaffected. Sitting across the wide table, the distance remained insufficient to buffer her from the rising temperature in the room. With her dazed emerald eyes dropping to focus on his slightly parted lips, she let the words fall from her mouth before even realizing her thought, "Yes, please!"

One incredulous eyebrow lifted as his grip on his book tightened, the creak of the binding echoing his restraint. Several heavy moments passed before his expression schooled itself, the magical tome abandoned as he rose from the table.

"Stand up. Bend over & place your hands on the table."

Her false bravado began to waiver… _he's really doing it?_

Taking a deep breath as she tried to restore her mask of confidence, Ada moved to obey, standing, then bending over to spread sticky palms on the table before her. His robes flow effortlessly behind as he rounded the table, walking out of her field of vision. Her eyes slipped shut and head bowed as her nervous excitement made her acutely aware of every other sensation. The slick cool table pushing back against her nearly trembling palms, the rustling material of her robes brushing the backs of her legs, the weight of the air as she tried to focus on pulling it in, the sound of his boot making a slightly uneven step. She kept her head lowered so that her curtain of hair might hide the grin splitting her face. He's nervous too…

"In my day, Miss Lovelace, the headmaster often took his 'belt' to boys who had been bad. And no one thought anything of it. Of course the word 'belt' was a polite euphemism." His steady, deep voice was followed by the rustle of fabric and the telltale clink of a belt buckle. Eyes snapping open and smirk vanishing, the blood quickly drained from her face as her anxiety sharply mounted. Suddenly coming to realize the position she was in, her panicking mind stuttered to a halt, while her traitorous body felt like it was burning from the inside out.

Before she could find her voice, a sharp stripe of pain laced through her, effectively kick-starting her brain.

_Ahhh!_ What was that?!? That wasn't a hand, or belt, or… well, anything else I might have expected… _Ow!_

A second stripe of pain flares and vanishes quickly.

_How is he doing it? There is nothing moving through the air or even touching me! Ahhh!_

An audible yelp slips out as her head whips back from another flash of pain. Walking back into her field of view, robes perfectly in place, he leans forward on the table, mirroring her pose. "Some of the tests you face may be dangerous. You may face monsters in combat, and even receive injuries…"

As her wincing gaze connected with his playful smirk, the pieces fell into place… _Wait… He was just…_

Another low moan escaped her flinching form as the unseen strike came from behind.

"…Much worse than this." His words came out hardly above a whisper. His smile melting into something hungrier as noted the sight before him… Her tousled hair, half-lidded eyes, parted lips panting for air. His warm brown orbs locked with green, sharing an unspoken need.

She was trapped. Entirely unable to move or look away, held transfixed by the starved gleam in his eyes. She didn't even realize she was leaning in, when her professor abruptly stood and began walking towards the door. "You may go, Miss Lovelace."

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

_What the bloody hell was THAT?!_

Hieronymous Grabiner stood braced against the bookshelf of his office, the slight pangs of guilt warring to cool his heated blood. He desperately tried to remember why this was wrong, why it was inappropriate... but his reasoning seemed unable to dissuade the very adamant part of him pushing forcefully against his robes and ignoring his logic. Instead renewed images of parted soft lips nearing as deep green eyes slid shut only made matters worse.

He let out a low defeated growl, embarrassed to even have to consider this option. Purposefully retrieving his wand, an ornate pattern was drawn in the air. The warmth of the magic slowly moved through his body, relaxing his muscles and emotions. Taking a deep breath, he took a moment to embrace the peace found in his now balanced energy.

The reprieve was short lived, however, as he began to more calmly recall the time leading up to this. A frown marred his face as he replayed the scene, more rationally trying to determine just where his control began to fray. How had the tone of the conversation shifted so rapidly? Or had it?

If it had been any other student to utter those ridiculous words, he would have easily brushed them off... even labelled them a fool while adding bountiful demerits to their tally. His body tensed at this unexpected revelation. _Why her? What was different about her?_

While not the smartest, cutest, or wittiest he'd seen, she certainly had all three qualities in spades. But even those were not enough to blind him to the fact that she was his student. No... it was long before today that he had begun to see her in a different light.

His mind wandered back to the second week of school and that damnedable love letter. He knew it was a prank, it was every year. Nor was it even very well-written, as literary pieces go. But the raw possessive passion in the words made it somehow more real, and he found himself wanting those words to have been meant for him... Desperately hoping that someone might see through his façade and force their way into his self-imprisonment. But no, he knew he deserved no such thing… not after… A pain wince graced his countenance as he forced his mind back to the original quandary. His longing only made him that much more irate when hunting the note's culprit. He truly believed no one capable of coming forward to admit guilt when faced with him in such a frightening state... but she did. Courageously, she stood before him, fostering truth and accepting blame, even while knowing it should not be laid at her feet.

_Had she known? Likely not being a wildseed. How could she know that with a simple spell I could trace the author and all those who touched it?_

The magic of his earlier spell began to seep slowly from him, leaving his mind cloudy and unrestrained. Unbidden, her hungry eyes appeared in his mind boring into his own, as he heard her whispering the words of her letter... his traitorous mind filling in the gaps.

Sinking into the wide leather arm chair behind him, he dropped his face to his hands as he begrudgingly acknowledged just how severely he was screwed.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

_What... What just happened?_

Several minutes after her professor had made his rapid retreat, Ada leaned there in a molten stupor before willing her mind to restart. Unfortunately, when she was finally able to form a coherent thought, she was overwhelmed by a flood of competing questions and emotions…

_Why did he leave? Did that really just happen? I never realized how expressive his eyes were... I can't believe he spanked me! Wait, does that count as spanking? What was the last thing he said before he left? He never actually took off his belt. Was he messing with me? He had to be messing with me, right? Euphemism, my ass! Oh God, he smelled good... What kind of books do they make witch kids read?!?! I don't think I've ever been so turned on. And he's even a teacher._

Her mind came screeching to a halt. 

_A teacher. My teacher._

Rather than simply dousing her smoldering heat, the realization hit her like a blow to the stomach.  _I'm never going to have him._

Even if this wasn't one-sided...  _Of course it's one-sided!_ , her mind painfully supplied... there are rules about these things.

She felt physically ill, letting her head fall onto the table in hopelessness.

_How stupid am I that I fell for my teacher…_


	2. Unquiet Dreams

A tiny near-transparent dove floated haltingly near the ceiling of the dim freshman dorm room, the grace of its movements stilting each time attention was shifted to correct its fading image. In the end, the miniature illusion gave out in a small puff of vapor after an awkward tumble towards the wall.

Letting an exhausted breathe leak from a slight frown, my tired arms fell softly upon the lavender cotton sheets beside me. Abandoning my wand in favor of trying to rub and relieve my red, sagging eyes, my mind slipped back to once again replay the unexpected events from this morning's detention with my favorite magic instructor.

I tried to think about it objectively, I really did… well, okay maybe not every time. Remembering his proximity, how the heat seemed to radiate from where he leaned closer across the table, the unguarded want in his eyes, the smell of parchment ink, leather, and some unnamable essence that was purely… him.

_Dammit, I'm doing it again!_ Craning my head over to glimpse the clock above the near desk, it became fairly obvious that even if I could somehow magically calm my racing heart right now, I still wasn't going to get enough rest for much of a productive day tomorrow, er… technically today. _Hey wait!_

Inspiration struck and began coursing through my veins, promising an end to this tireless pondering. Quickly snatching up my wand, I began to trace out the pattern for a simple sleep spell. As my wrist was flicking out the last arch, the glow sputtered and died without enough magic to support it.

Muffling several pouting whimpers of defeat so as not to wake the room's other occupants, I flopped over onto my other side, resigned to try and force rest the old fashion way… uselessly.

* * *

At some point in the bleak hours of morning, my mind must have finally conceded to grant me some small respite, otherwise Virginia & Ellen's excited voices wouldn't have been dragging me mercilessly back to consciousness. Bleary eyes blinked open, trying to focus on the two giggling monstrosities perched on the single bed down and across the room.

"… good thing it's a Sunday! I don't think they make an enchantment powerful enough to hide the bags under those eyes!" Around the same time I focused in on her playfully defiant smirk, comprehension of her words seemed to click in my brain. But rather than supplying me with a sufficiently witty comeback, it seemed to roll right back over and go to sleep, offering me only a bedraggled moan as I sought asylum under my pillow.

"Oh no you don't!" My sheet whipped off of me, allowing the chill to creep in and another miserable, incoherent noise to mumble out. "It's too bright and beautiful a day for you to waste it sleeping! Seriously, I bet even Donald isn't useless enough to lay in bed all day… and he defines lame! Come on, out you go!"

Resisting the urge to cast Spark on any number of targets that combined together to form one Virginia Dawson, I rolled down off the top bunk, slowly easing onto my feet. I could feel Ellen's gentle hand slide onto my shoulder, likely in an effort to steady me as she ventured, "I thought I heard you still tossing and turning when I fell asleep, how late did you stay up?"

The kaleidoscope of numbers, words, and emotions roiling in my head slowly shifted back into place. "Um… not sure? I think the last time I looked at the clock was 3ish?" The bright light pouring in through the open curtain was relentless.

"What would possess you to stay up so late? Were you reading?" Virginia's hands found their usual home on her hips, her voice and posture invoking disapproving moms everywhere.

Ellen softly shook her head, "I doubt it, she didn't have a light on…"

My fingers caught in my tangled hair, quickly stalling their path through it and startling me with the small sharp pain of pulling at a knot, "No, I was just thinking and couldn't sleep…" My reply interrupted by an obnoxiously big yawn.

"Probably too worried about Grabby…" Now that woke me up. "… since you were stuck in detention most of the day." At the sound of his moniker, my head snapped up, eyes locking with Virginia's. Her gaze held mine as my cheeks began their now familiar flush. I knew my mistake as soon as she assessed my kneejerk reaction.

"Or it could have been about classes, I know you said that one black spell was giving you some trouble. I'd be happy to help if you…" Ellen's thoughtful, if not boastful, offer was cut off by Virginia's knowing leer, her arms crossing her chest in a lazy confidence, "Oh no, I'm pretty sure it was about a guy. Right, Ada?"

"W-what? Really? I didn't know you liked someone already…", Ellen turned back to me and began her careful scrutiny, as if her practiced methods of study would allow her to read me as easily as her well-worn encyclopedias. Knowing my face had to be comically red by now, I quickly tried to redirect to the one rope I'd been thrown.

"Ellen, if you have time, I would LOVE your help in black magic. Would you want to go study on the lawn with me?" I was doing a rather poor job of keeping my voice level, but I knew this ploy would work on the demure blond beside me.

"Absolutely! Let's all go to breakfast, but we can take our books and stuff with us and just go straight there after!" She had already become a whirlwind of pep, gathering anything and everything she thought we might possibly need for what was apparently a grand outing. Before moving to change out of my pajamas, I risked a glance at my bolder roommate. Meeting her you're-not-getting-out-of-this-for-long face with a sheepish smile, she just clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes good-naturedly at our antics.

Shoulders drooping slightly as I threw on a comfy grey blouse & jeans, I began to wonder if I shouldn't have just gotten this chat over with instead of enduring hours of Ellen's… enthusiasm. Compounding on my current exhaustion, this promised to be a long day. I'd just have to hope that at some point Virginia might become so enthralled with Sports Club planning or a surprise box of cookies… something… that she might forget my complete lack of a poker face.

* * *

 

"Ada, could you please try to focus? I'm trying to help, but I feel like you aren't even paying attention. Is it because you're too tired?" _No, Ellen. It's not because I'm too tired… even though I am severely exhausted._ My now aggravated glare leaves the teasing grin of Damocles' Sword made manifest behind her to soften on my decidedly less evil roommate.

"Sorry Ellen, I really do feel like this is helping! But you're right… I'm having a hard time focusing today." Her round chestnut eyes shone with concern beside me, as she reached a delicate hand out to squeeze mine in reassurance. But just as her mouth parted to no doubt offer encouragement, Virginia decided to further test her hypothesis, "Ya know, instead of bothering Ellen to help you with this, you could always go ask Grabby to do it."

Even though I'd been preparing myself for this very moment, I had no way of stopping the rush of blood inducing a fierce blush. And in tandem with my reddening complexion, her arrogant smirk crept wider. Completely missing the subtext, Ellen rushed to try and fix the nonexistent miscommunication, "Really, I don't mind… I was just…"

"I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" Jumping to her feet, her dark locks bouncing to her victory dance, Virginia pointed an accusing finger to me tauntingly. There really was no point in denying what she had clearly picked up on… well, other than me not wanting to give her the satisfaction by admitting the truth. Crossing my arms across my chest while leaning back against the tree behind me, I began examining a rather interesting patch of grass beside me, "I don't know what you're going on about… but how do they keep the landscapes so well maintained."

_Wow._ Even I had to admit that was the worst attempt to redirect a conversation. Ever.

Needless to say, the wizard come detective was having none of it. "Nu-uh! Oh no. Not a chance am I letting you out of this one. If you keep trying to play this off, I'll just have to shout it to the whole campus: ADA LOVES GR…."

With speed I'd never even seen myself use before, I managed to leap to my feet beside her and clamp a hand securely over her wickedly Cheshire grin, "Virginia, don't! Okay, you win!" Despite my partial mortification at her outburst, I couldn't help but chuckle at her antics.

Before I could even draw my hand back, hers came up to pull it away so she could venture in near disbelief, "No way! You really like Professor Grabiner?!"

"Wait, what!" Ellen bounced up beside us, looking as if I'd suddenly sprouted feathers. Actually, I'm fairly certain she would take that better. "You can't be serious, he's a teacher! And distressingly unpleasant… but more importantly, a _teacher_!"

I really should have paid better attention to Black Magic, I mean… I might have been able to open a gaping hole in the earth beneath me to swallow up both me and my embarrassment. Hmmmm, it'd probably have to be a fairly decent sized hole to be able to fit this amount of humiliation. Taking a centering breath, I abandon my perusal of the imaginary schism below me, "Guys come on! Do you really have to yell? It's not that big a deal."

Innocent chocolate eyes stretched impossibly wider, "Not that big a deal? He's probably double our age!"

Wincing marginally and defending weakly, "He's probably not _that_ old…"

Shockingly, it was the one who started this whole mess who came to my aid. Virginia waved her hand dismissively, "Even if he were, it actually isn't a big deal in the wizard world… well, once you turn 17 and hit the age of majority anyway. And he's a hell of a lot better than Damien… But really, Ada… he's just so prickly! Of everyone on this campus, you picked him? I don't get you."

At least she gave me some footing to work with, "First off, I _am_ seventeen. My birthday was last Thursday. Secondly, I'm not even interested in Damien, I'm just trying to be his friend. And yes, I completely agree… Professor Grabiner tends to employ the social graces of a rapid wolverine, but it's not like I picked him… this… it just kind of happened." I shifted swiftly to address Ellen's concerns before she could start up again as well, "And I know he's a teacher. And I know nothing will ever happen, but you can't help who you like…"

Apparently satisfied with my answer and likely feeling that she had wrung the last bit of fun out of harassing me on this topic for now, Virginia didn't even miss a beat, "It was your birthday this week and you didn't even tell us!? We could have had cake! How can you miss the chance for cake!"

"You're seventeen? Why aren't you in the sophomore class by now then? I can't quite remember exactly, but I could have swore I read something in the school handbook or policies about needing certain freshman classes before your 17th birthday." Ellen's hands wrung in front of her and I could almost see her mentally cataloging the materials she read trying to place the reference.

Shrugging my shoulders lightly, my focus was drawn to the small cyclone of dead leaves that jauntily made its way across the lawn… mesmerized as the light breeze played with each dry, brittle piece before dropping them unceremoniously to the ground. " I'm not sure, but I remember seeing my dad write out my birth date on the admission forms, so I guess it's not a not a hard-set rule if they still accepted me as a freshman."

A soft warmth spread as I remembered sitting with him out on the patio that day, his unruly fair hair tossed about in the breeze. Cerulean eyes alight with mischief, excitement, and glee. Dad was an unreasonably busy man, always away for work… but the few times throughout my life that he set aside for me stood out like softly glowing candles in the dark, always warm and bright. Perhaps it was the rarity of the occurrence, or maybe the pride clearly glowing behind his charming smile as he focused on only me, but each time I knew I was special and wholly treasured. Mum is a bit like that too, her intense focus and dedication never leaving room to doubt her unwavering love and support… regardless whether her passion was directed at packing my lunch in the mornings, quizzing me with vocabulary flashcards, pouring her very soul into her paintings, or abandoning any semblance of decorum to take a running leap at father upon his infrequent arrivals.

While I fully appreciated the luxury of being an only child, able to monopolize so much of their time and affections for myself, having siblings may have been a welcome distraction when my parents would invariably cut family time short… Even as a child I was not blind to the exchange of scorching glances and the escalation of tender touches that would preface their abrupt exits. It's funny, while growing up around such a blatantly amorous couple had certainly raised my tolerance for affectionate displays around me, it did nothing to temper my own blushing inexperience when faced with… situations. My head hung in accepted defeat as I'm once again pulled back to the object of my recent infatuation.

Apparently dissatisfied with our lack of response, the sporty brunette's arms waved wildly before us, "Hello, people! Cake!"

Pulled from the happy ghosting of memories, my gaze drew back to my present company… particularly the enthusiastic flailing of my somewhat gluttonous friend. The giggles spilled from my mouth before I even realized I was grinning. I couldn't help but feel I had won the roommate lottery… after all not everyone was so lucky to start off their foray into the uncertain world of magic (or even a new school) with the caring support and energy selflessly offered by my new compatriots.

The attention of our merry band of three was soon pulled to the approaching form of our demure freshman class president. Face drawn into a slightly nervous smile, she nodded to my companions before turning to face me fully, "Hi Ada, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but I was hoping to ask you to approve a purchase for the Dark Dance."

My brows drew together as I tried to place the unfamiliar term but nothing came to mind, "Um, the Dark Dance?"

"Yes, it's not a large amount, just for the incense we need, but any purchase approvals need to be handled by the class treasurer." Her slim, pale arm extended to me to offer a midnight blue folder pinched closed by a pen. Reaching out to take it in hopes that the included papers themselves might shed more insight on this event, I quickly opened it and began scanning the purchase request form.

It took no time to realize that the document would be of no help, and just as I was about to ask for clarification, Ellen beat me to it, "Sorry, but what exactly is the Dark Dance? I saw it on the school calendar, but didn't find any other description in our welcome packet…"

"Oh! I keep forgetting you two are new to all this…" Virginia exclaimed, but her lips quirked ever so slightly as she continued, "… it's just this human sacrifice ritual we perform every fall."

I heard a startled squeak mid-eye roll, and couldn't stop the muffled snort that escaped at the sight of the other two slack jawed freshman with us. Ellen looked positively green, her tense figure suddenly that of a caged animal. Minnie's expression of disbelief soon faded as comprehension dawned, "Virginia, that's not very funny. They might take you seriously."

"Oh, come on! It was obviously a joke. Even a _wildseed_ wouldn't fall for it!" While I agreed it was a bit too far fetched to take seriously, the embarrassment twisting into anger on Ellen's face certainly told a different story. She began to hurriedly pack up our study materials from the grass around her, no doubt with thoughts to flee additional derision. I'd have one chance to pull her back into the conversation before a likely dramatic exist. "Har har… ok, dumb jokes aside, care to actually explain what the Dark Dance is? I should probably take my treasurer position seriously enough to understand what it is I'm signing off on…."

Ellen didn't look up or even stop collecting her things, but did noticeably slow her motions as Minnie fell into her verbatim textbook exposition of the topic, including the relevance of incense in the ritual. Crisis seemingly averted for now, my focus shifted fully to the lengthy explanation. Due to the somewhat detached clinical austerity she employed, it took me a minute to realize it sounded very much like the Samhain Feis my mum once described from her childhood in Ireland... just with a lot less fire. I was about to say as much when Virginia excitedly interrupted, "That's all just the traditional stuff. Most magic families celebrate it to some degree at home, but none throw a Dark Party quite like the Dansons! My parents practice their fire-spinning months ahead of time, and next year, they even promised to let William join the family display! It's going to be epic!"

She was already up and bouncing on the balls of her feet, violet eyes sparkling with childish wonder. Ahhh, so there is fire… Clearing her throat a bit, Ellen's wide caramel eyes sought out Virginia as she haltingly asked, "I-is he… W-William, I mean… will he be fire spinning at our dance?"

Enthusiasm clearly dampened, Virginia shook her head sadly, "Not for the Dark Dance. At school, they don't allow fire for this event and tend to keep it completely dark. Something about the veil between worlds diminishing and elemental magic being less stable…"

"Oh, that's probably because of the ley lines running under the campus!" Minnie chimed in helpfully, "Each of the liminal holidays demarking the midpoint between an equinox & solstice tend to enhance magical efficiency to an extent that requires significantly higher degrees of control to achieve comparable results. This variation in magical output combined with the standard augmentation effect of our intra-campus ley lines induce a semi-permeable quality in the delineating barriers, particularly the one between this plane and the Otherworld."

While I had no trouble following her impromptu lesson (more or less), I felt a sudden appreciation for my roommates' ability to incorporate decidedly complex concepts into casual conversation. Not that Minnie's diatribe was not interesting… but it left me wondering if she ever expressed her opinions on matters, or was simply restricted to reciting learned facts.

Having felt properly educated on the upcoming event, and with only a slight temptation to use such an inquiry as an excuse to visit a certain _prickly_ professor, I signed and returned Minnie's approved funds request.

* * *

My mind pushed into awareness like moving through a fog of wet cotton… it slowly cleaned away all but a few slivered vestiges of my dream the closer I came to waking. While details seemed already lost, a few trace scenes and overwhelming emotions remained, ensuring me that this was the same dream I'd had the last three nights. A moonlit field crowded with both strangers and friends alike. Some kind of picnic… or feast, perhaps? I distinctly remember feeling weightless as I wound through the crowd. Not so much like floating, though my bare feet did seem to bounce over the soft grass with a light grace… but more, that my soul bore no weight, the stresses of life had been lifted from me and tossed to the wayside.

I felt joy and mirth, and seemed to breath in the heady scent of magic, thicker as I progressed… I felt as if the beauty all around me was being absorbed through my very skin. The crowd seemed tighter than before, difficult to traverse, but in no way suffocating… Until, with no warning, I found myself in an open circle. But I did not find myself alone… not ten feet before me was a tall, familiar figure, though not adorning his signature dark robes and cape. Instead he donned dark tailored trousers topped with a deep red dress shirt, his long hair caught in the playful breeze. With his sleeves rolled up just so and top buttons undone, he was a study in practiced disarray.

My gaze wound its way back up his body to lock with his molten stare, a wave of desire and longing washing over me as his emotions melted into mine. I must have walked forward, for suddenly nearly all the distance between us was gone, my body humming from the heat of his proximity. A moment later, or perhaps a lifetime, his hands lifted between us to offer me a small wooden bowl, filled with what I somehow knew to be a thick honey wine.

I laid my hands around his on the bowl, reveling in the steady feel of him as I brought it to my lips. I felt no inclination to look away as I drank deeply, accepting both the sweet gift and the intense promises his eyes held.

And here is where I was dragged away, gently but persistently into the unforgiving cloud of consciousness. Breathing hard and left desperately wanting, I grimly acknowledge that I'd be getting no more sleep tonight. Casting a small witchlight, I rolled carefully from bed and began to quietly gather my bathing supplies. May as well get an early start to the day.

* * *

Loathe as he was to admit it, even if just to himself, Hieronymous Grabiner fought to stay in that dream, digging in his heels even as the edges began to fray… just to feel her hands on his, to gaze into the emerald fire of her eyes if only for a moment more. But the battle was lost almost as soon as he'd begun and the last shreds of the vision that had come to torment him nightly faded away.

His hands pulled up to cover his sweat beaded face in a half-hearted attempt to stifle his disgruntled groan.

Three nights. For three night he had to watch her wind blissfully through the assembled guests, her exuberant innocence highlighted by the jubilant spring in her step… each bounce doing irreparable damage to his restraint, as the paper-thin white chiffon draped maddeningly over her supple figure… pulling at once both this way and that to fully illustrate the blessings of her curves.

He was in no way a pious man, could never be accused of religious fervor, but in the moment she would appear in clearing before him, chest heaving teasingly beneath the nearly transparent fabric, her bright eyes burning a path as they wound over his body only to halt their perusal, dripping with desire and further punctuated by a slight quirk of her full lips… in that moment he wanted nothing more than to devoutly worship every inch of her, in every possible way.

It was utterly foolish of him to indulge in these fantasies. He had long ago come to terms with his deservedly bleak lot in life… to die a miserable bachelor who might at least spare a hapless student or two from irrevocably ruining their lives as he had. His hopes and dreams ripped apart right before his eyes along with his first love. Only love, he obstinately corrected himself.

But he couldn't escape the lingering dreamscape… closing his eye, he found himself back in the moonlit field with love, desire, and hope all equally tying him to the beautiful young bride before him. Oh yes, there was no denying the obvious nature of the binding ritual performed. The open and eager acceptance written plainly on her face causing at once both fire and ice in his veins.

His practiced habit of self-loathing winning out, he largely threw himself from his bed, desperate to leave his shattered dreams behind. Making his way past his desk to push open the lightly frosted window, he breathed in deeply the fresh air, allowing the cool breeze to ground him back in reality. The cold, empty, and dark campus stretched out before him seeming the perfect mirror to his existence. Once grand and bright, full of life and potential, but now entirely abandoned, devoid of even the smallest glimmer of hope.

Having reaffirmed his dreary place in the world, he was prepared to retreat back into the solitary confinement of his rooms, when a slight flicker caught his eye. Had it not been such a particularly dark night the faint glow of witchfire lighting a window at the student dorms might not have stood out quite so starkly. But as it was, the soft blue glow emanating from Horse Hall shined as a beacon in the darkness. _Horse Hall…_

Before he could stop himself, he was already counting the windows to determine the room number. A breath he hadn't realized he was holding escaped his lungs all at once, as his brows rose in disbelief. _Of course it was her room,_ why wouldn't it be her to disrupt his perfectly meaningless existence with her radiance. He re-latched the window, trudging back inside… feeling entirely foolish as he could no longer douse the tiny flame of hope.


End file.
